Choices
by manyissues101
Summary: -Bellaselfdenial!-If she went with the first choice, she’d eventually be unhappy. If she went with the second choice, she’d start off unhappy. There really were no choices at all.


"Mommy, where do babies come from

"Mommy, where do babies come from?" Renee winced. Was it really time for this question? Couldn't it wait for a while—another three years, perhaps?

She heaved Bella up beside her. They lounged on Renee's bed while the news played on mute in the background. "Well, babies are very special. You have to do something very special to get them."

"I drew a special picture today. Do I get a baby?"

Renee resisted the urge to snort. "No. You're too little to get a baby. Only a man and a woman together can get a baby."

Bella chewed at her pinkie. "Oh…how come I never see babies for sale at the store?"

"Well, babies aren't sold at the store."

"Then how do you get them?" Her big, russet eyes begged to understand.

"You…you have to play a game. A man and a woman have to play a game."

"What kind of game? Will you teach me?"

"No, Bella. It's a marriage game. You can only play it when you get married."

"So if a man and woman get married they'll play the marriage game and get a baby?"

Renee nodded. "Yes Bella. That's how it works."

She scrunched up her nose. "Oh."

0--0

Bella had learned from her mother how babies were really conceived. She knew the ins and outs of the marriage game now, and she knew the playing conditions. Not until she married, that she knew, and only if she was sure about him.

Her wedding was tomorrow, and she was completely sure. The only problem was, when they played the marriage game, what would happen? She'd never have a child, something she never really gave much thought to until she knew that it was a moot point. Wasn't the real point of marriage to be with someone, to create new life with them, and to grow old together? Then what would her marriage to Edward be?

Bella ran her fingers through her hair. She sat in front of the mirror, fiddling with the ring. It was gorgeous, and priceless, and wonderful. Just like Edward. And in another century the ring would still be gorgeous, and priceless, and wonderful. In another century Edward would still be gorgeous, and priceless, and wonderful. And Bella would probably still be clumsy, and quiet, and regretful.

Her parents had tried to talk her out of the wedding, to make her see another way. But they saw Bella as confident, as sure, and positive. They didn't see her shaking when Renee mentioned children, or coming to Flordia to visit, or when Charlie asked if she and Edward would be in their own house (he assumed they'd stay in Forks), or why she couldn't finish college first. They didn't see that she was scared and indefinite, or the way that her being trembled with rue.

Bella tried to calm herself. She thought of Edward, and how she felt with him, and the way she knew that this was what she wanted. The problem was this though: what she wanted wasn't always what was best. Bella told herself that she was making the right decision, that she'd never look back and wonder _whatif_.

But what if she wasn't making the right decision? What if she was meant to go another way? What if she was about to make a big mistake? Maybe there were children meant to be born but never would be, or a man to make happy that would never know her. Maybe Edward could go on without her, or she without him, but they'd never know that the universe meant it that way.

Bella stood, knitting her fingers behind her. Wherever she went, whatever she did, she'd have to trust herself to make the right choice. She had one life, one chance, but two choices. Her imagination wasn't up to par, it seemed, because the image of young child flashed across her eyes, and wouldn't remove itself from her lids.

If she went with the first choice, she'd eventually be unhappy. If she went with the second choice, she'd start off unhappy.

There really were no choices at all.

0FIN0

rant I wanted to write something for Twilight, something where Bella isn't sure about Edward because I think that her being with him is a bad choice, and I think that she should go with Jacob instead because Jacob isn't trying to make her give up her future. Who lets such a young woman make those kinds of decisions? /rant

I hope you enjoyed this! Now, I'm off to the beta duties that I'm sort of neglecting…

Please review!


End file.
